Submitted by Harrison Card on February 7, 2011 to Auto Trends Magazine online.
Fab rides for the newbie driver.
A new driver has a huge number of cars available for selection. Sadly, none of them will be very good. The first car most girls dream of is a New Beetle and most guys dream of something with a V-8. However, getting a dream car as a first car probably won’t work very well. A new driver will crash it into a lamppost in the high school parking lot or if not into a lamppost, then into something else – that is the reason why new drivers pay a mint for auto insurance. On the flip side of things, at least new drivers tend to know when their turn signal is on.
Without further ado, I present to you the five best cars for that lovely new wheelman:
1. The smart choice: Honda Civic. Yes, it’s a bit lame. Yes, everyone in the world owns one. No, it’s not very fast. However, it does handle really, really well. Also, Mom thinks it’s slow, but instead of painting it neon colors, you can buy lots of speed up parts and make it a lot faster than most Mustangs. Parts for it run in the “Dollar Tree” price range and if you know how to use the Internet, you can get step by step fix it instructions. The biggest problem with the Honda Civic? They’re really easy to steal!
2. The safe choice: Ford Crown Victoria. It’s a cop car, you may say. But, wait! They can’t make them new anymore, so pretty soon it won’t be. Unfortunately, being 16 means that you’ll wreck it before the fuzz retires them. However, this is okay as these great American monuments are very safe. Haven’t you seen a movie? You can fall off a bridge in one and be fine. Well, maybe.
3. The hand-me-down: Volvo 850 Turbo Wagon. Your mother gave it to you, it’s a station wagon. Yeah, but it’s got a turbo. The little snail looking thing gives it the high school equivalent of a race Hemi. Have you seen Jimmy’s car? Yeah, it’s a TURBO. See, 100 percent of the boys think that girls actually know or care what kind of car they have; 90 percent of the girls don’t. The other 10 percent are gold diggers or tomboys. One will take your money and the others wear overalls. Ew.
4. For the kid who doesn’t bathe: Jeep Wrangler. Barbie drives one. At least that’s what the pickup driving off-roaders like to remind owners. Some kids just don’t want a car. They want to drive really fast through some mud or get stuck between some trees. There’s no arguing the Wrangler can do both. Keep in mind that mud tires make a noise like a wood chipper at highway speeds, only louder. Mom’s going to get annoyed. Also, if you’re one of the .005 percent who actually off-road the thing, do buy a winch instead of some fog lamps or chrome brush guards.
5. For the guy who wears pink polos: Ford Mustang Convertible. Probably the biggest poser car ever, a number of V-6, automatic tranny, pony car soft tops offer a lot of hard parking (standing next to your car with sunglasses on) ability. However, nobody, save for a few gearheads, will know the difference. The gearheads will all have modified Civics that will embarrass the Stang in just about every way, but hey, it’s a Mustang, and it’s a convertible. Since when does substance matter over style in high school?
